Uncommon Sense

politics and society are, unfortunately, much the same thing

Apparently, Barack is the Jackass

I was recently introduced to a clever allegory describing the Obamacare controversy in the form of a corporation. It was a good idea, but had hardly any semblance to the reality of the situation. It contained plenty of snark, which is typical of most criticisms of the political right, but little accuracy. Of course, being an accurate portrayal had nothing to do with it. The purpose was merely to blame Republicans for the government shutdown and conveniently ignore any questions about the disaster that is the Affordable Care Act. So I’m rewriting the allegory here, with an emphasis on accuracy.

Imagine the company you work for held a poll and asked everyone if they thought it would be a good idea to put a soda machine in the break room. The poll came back and the majority of your colleagues said “Yes”, indicating they would like a soda machine. Some said no, but the majority said yes. So, months later, there’s a soda machine.

Now imagine Bill in accounting voted against the soda machine. He said there were serious problems with the whole soda program, not just the machine. He doesn’t like the fact that people are now required to buy sodas, and threatened to have their pay cut if they don’t. He doesn’t believe the sodas will actually be cheaper with the new program, but MUCH more expensive. But his concerns were largely ignored and supporters of the program simply decided he must have a strong hatred for caffeinated soft drinks, thinks they are bad you you, whatever. He campaigns throughout the office to get the machine removed, all the while the issues he’s actually talking about are ignored. Management decides “OK, we’ll ask again” and this time there are also questions about what to do with Bill.

This time a slight majority decide to promote Bill to CFO. He was previously assistant CFO to “Nancy” who also supports the soda idea. But, due to the poll, Bill and Nancy had to trade places. So now Bill is in charge of company money.

Bill’s concerns are only strengthened after getting a closer look at the program. The company is a bit odd as far as how things work. Bill’s department initiates any funding measures. “Harry” approves said funding measures, since his separate department is also part of accounting, before passing them along to “Barack” the company CEO for final approval. Bill thinks this soda initiative is a disaster in the making so he decides not to appropriate money for it. But, knowing none of the soda program’s supporters are willing to compromise for the good of the company, Bill makes efforts to avoid the eminent shutdown.

So Bill appropriates money for everything else the company needs. But Harry and Barack will not have it. Harry kills the funding measures, thereby refusing to fund anything for the company. And Barack states up front he intends to kill any funding measures that reach his desk unless the soda program is funded, while at the same time pretending he’s going out of his way to “work with the other side”. Bill processes payments for payroll, security, 401(k)s, everything except the soda program. Harry refuses to approve anything, except the security funding. There are concerns of gangs in the neighborhood, and Harry can’t spin this to his benefit if he kills the security funding. Everything else fails to get funded, and about 17% of the company is shutdown.

Once the soda program is finally implemented there are other problems. Everyone working in the basement level get their hours cut below 30, insuring they lose access to company benefits, such as the soda program. Bill is largely ignored when he voices his concerns about the loss of benefits and income by this move, but Nancy praises it as a liberation so the basement employees now have more time to pursue their own happiness. Some of these employees have blogs where they mention the things happening to real people, and that the reality doesn’t match the promises made to everyone about the soda program.

“Big D” works in the middle floor of the company. He knows nothing of Bill’s actual concerns, or about the harm being inflicted on the company’s employees. He only reads the company newsletter to keep informed. The editors of the company newsletter have always hated Bill, and loved both Harry and Barack, even before Barack was promoted to CEO. So the newsletter mentions nothing of the troubles of employees caused by either the soda program or Harry’s refusal to fund the company. In fact, the newsletter goes out of its way to blame Bill for the shutdown, despite the fact the did his job and appropriated money to keep the company running. The editors also try to make the 17% shutdown seem like the end of the company if things don’t get back to normal soon. Big D apparently only cares about his own situation. And since his benefits haven’t been changed, yet, he’s perfectly happy to disregard any nasty rumors about harm caused by the program.

After further failed attempts to negotiate, Bill gives in. Harry finally stops killing funding measures, but Bill still gets blamed for the shutdown. Now everyone can enjoy their sodas. Except Bill was right all along. The sodas are way more expensive than they were before, more and more employees no longer have access to or the money to afford sodas. And to top it all off, after months of preparation and a ton of money thrown at it, the new fancy soda machine doesn’t work anyway.

To help divert attention away from the huge embarrassment, the newsletter team and other supporters of the soda program accuse Bill of being racist.

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Filed under: budget, bullies, bureaucracy, congress, corruption, crisis, Democrats, economy, government, health care, hypocrisy, ideology, indoctrination, left wing, legislation, liberalism, nanny state, news media, oppression, pandering, political correctness, politics, president, propaganda, public policy, scandal, socialism, tragedy, unintended consequences

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